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Fans of Life On Mars
Checking In, Thinking of y'all 
12th-Mar-2017 02:46 pm
This is not fic or art, but rather musings and yearnings and thoughts.

I have been on a lengthy break from fandom at this point; not something I planned but something I've accepted. I've been getting back to painting over the last year or so, trying to find motivation and inspiration for art, thinking of ways to move it in new directions.

I do miss writing fic, but while I've occasionally thought about writing in other fandoms the urge is not so strong and I have trouble imagining how they'd live up to what this fandom was to me. I have a couple of really awesome unfinished LoM fics that could still bring me back. And I do have art ideas from time to time. I find myself particularly imagining things that would please danae_b were I to draw and post them, as she is so amazingly present here.

I think of you. I think of the awesome people I met in this comm. I wonder how you're doing. I reread fics, on occasion, or just reminisce about them - they're painted indelibly on my brain. I miss the time when livejournal was more active and one could feel connected to people through their posts. I'm still at least a little bit in touch with a couple of people through other social media - fb and tumblr and instagram, but there was a raw honesty and intimacy to livejournal posts that you don't always get through those other sources.

How ARE you, comm?
12th-Mar-2017 07:58 pm (UTC)
It's so lovely to see your post here. *hugs* I have to go to sleep ridiculously early on Sundays but after I finish with my ridiculously early work shift tomorrow I'll be back to fill you in on things!

13th-Mar-2017 09:12 pm (UTC)
I had to do a few other things around the house but I'm back!

I'm taking a bit of a writing break right now but not because I wanted to, it kind of just ended up happening. Mom's recovering from a back injury and I'm putting a lot of extra energy into maintaining things around the house. So what this might really be is a posting break? I don't know completely. Waffling about, I just don't know what to do with myself, other than find out what stresses me the least and leads to some happiness.

I remember (going on a year ago, yeah?) letting the cat out of the bag re generally miserableness in regards to maintaining the weekly chat, and I know in a few very big ways, I'm still in that same joyless spot. I tumbled down into a deep dark hole and I've not been able to climb back out of it completely, but I'm determined not to give up on things. I love this show, and I love the characters. I've made some great friends here. I have things that I could post if only I could work through my wilting self esteem (the problem gets worse and worse and no fighting against my anxieties and Just Doing It makes it any better)


I know I've read snippets of yours that I would love to see come to full fruition. And I love your art so very much, that if you took those ideas and carried through with them? There would be much delight. So good luck with that – as well as with your paintings, and whatever else you want to do.

And I guess I should add (because it's true) that I still have stories I want to write, and that I still love this place. I'm not going anywhere, there's never really been a show like this for me, or a fandom either. I've dabbled in ficlets for other series, and sometimes I think I need to invest in a main fandom change, but nothing tempts me the way that LoM has captivated me so completely.

*randomly pops in to edit comment*

Edited at 2017-03-21 11:06 pm (UTC)
12th-Mar-2017 07:58 pm (UTC)
Hey basalt! Lovely to hear from you!

Best of luck with your painting endeavours and I know the feeling re. unfinished fics.
17th-Mar-2017 05:08 pm (UTC)
Hi, basalt and everyone ... My writing has been on the back burner as well. I have 3 unfinished fics. I tend to hibernate over the winter; once I get home from work I don't want to do ANYTHING--simply go to bed and read (fanfiction--more on that later). Most importantly, my father has terminal cancer and I can't get up the energy to do much but work.

Another beloved fandom was/is The X-Files (my first online fandom). The various "yahoo groups" which were so active during the first wave of fandom which I was a part of are no longer active, and one must use fanfiction.net or A03 to post new works. Like LOM, many works were fantastic and unrivaled by other fandoms--and it's hard to find new works that compare in quality. Over the past few months, I've been reading the classic fic again and loving it again. I have ideas for new stories but whether I'll get anything written ... who knows. Sometimes, with both fandoms, I can get intimidated by all of the excellent stuff and I think I can't measure up ...

I think of everyone too and drop in here to see if anything new has been posted. I was happy to see one from you, basalt.

I miss you all and think of what we were fondly, but it's kind of bittersweet at the same time ...

18th-Mar-2017 03:18 pm (UTC)
Oh Deb, I'm sorry to hear about your father *hugs*
21st-Mar-2017 07:11 pm (UTC)
Thank you, dana♥
4th-Apr-2017 12:26 am (UTC)
I was only active in this com for a few months, but I still remember it as my formative fandom experience. I learned such a lot from the rest of you. I'm so glad people are still around (including you, yes I remember your username!) and that the com is still chugging along.

I miss LJ so much! It was pretty much the perfect fandom platform and then... stuff happened. Those days will not come again. :(
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