Title: Another Day
Fandom: Life on Mars
Disclaimer: I don’t own these characters or their universe. BBC/Kudos do. I’m not making any money out of this.
Rating: White Cortina, but it’s angsty.
Word Count: 469
Summary: Sam has been missing for two weeks now and Gene is coming apart.
A/N: A part of the Survival series which has been awaiting final edit since before Christmas. Takes place the day after Dak’s Not The Dark, ie towards the end of Body & Soul.
Previously posted: Not The Dark (bydakfinv) / Body & Soul / Another Day / Watching / Hope / In The Eye Of The Beholder / Breaking Through / Still With Us / On The Road to Freedom / Not Just a Cry For Help / Keep Taking the Tablets / Breaking Glass / Useless / Out to Lunch / Still Want You / Fighting to Survive / Into the Dark / Talk to Me
Wake up cold. Crawl off the sofa, wonder if Sam’s cold. Don’t think, just keep moving, put the kettle on. Small Scotch while it boils, got the whole day to get through. Got to be ready if the call comes. Fifteen days, don’t think, keep going.
Out to the car. Don’t look at S - the passenger seat. Quick nip from the flask in the door pocket. Put her in gear, don’t think, just drive. Look straight ahead, watch the rain. Don’t look down the alleys, under the rubbish, in the sheds, he’s not there. He’s not behind the walls and gates and fences, they’ve looked. I’ve looked.
Just the canal now. God, not there. Don’t make me give that order.
There! Is that - ? Don’t be stupid, he’s not going to be just - Calm down, shouldn't stop here.
“Nothing, just ... “
“Any news yet?”
Can’t speak, don’t tremble. No.
Another nip. Don’t think, just drive. Old house yesterday was the last hope, nothing else left. Pull into the yard, fumble another drink. Flask in the coat, cross the yard. Didn’t lock the car, who cares, keep walking. Up the steps, Sam probably knows how many there - Don’t think, keep climbing. Up the top, turn left, through the doors. Don’t think.
Past Phyllis, don’t look. Up the stairs, slowly. Heart attack would hurt less. Wonder if Sam - Don’t think. Finish the first flask, open the door. Look down, ignore the eyes. Long walk across the office. Don’t think, don’t talk, keep moving.
Cold sanctuary in the corner, shut the door. Alone, always alone now. Wonder if Sam’s alone.
Deep breath, things to do, cases to solve. Look after my city, hold on to that. What cases, what things to do, can’t remember, can’t think. Can’t care. Give the order. Sam.
Quick slug, down to the cells, bloke in number three. Don’t know who he is, hit him anyway. Cleaning up the scum. Send Ray down later. Dark waters, don’t think.
Long and weary stairs, don’t look down, wouldn’t take long to - No. Still hope. Might still turn up. Waiting for me somewhere. Got to be ready for him, always wait for him. Hold on to that.
Nearly through the day, don’t think, keep going. Another flask. Getting late, divers clocking off, don’t think. Hope the phone doesn’t ring. Hope the phone does ring.
Alone again, too much Scotch, unsteady through the empty office. Don’t touch his desk, don’t answer his phone. Wonder if he’s near a phone. Remember his smile, hold on to that.
Drive slowly, too much Scotch. Park the car, drain the last flask. Walk slowly, everything hurts. Dark, cold house, dead, empty. Wonder if Sam’s – Don’t think, stop moving. Crawl onto the sofa, drain the bottle.
Wake up cold.