Disclaimer - They've gone so far as to ban me from the playground. I just stand at the gate and watch as the BBC and Kudos wreck havoc and cry.
Gene surveyed his team happily as he sipped another scotch. Cartwright and Cindyloo were currently handing Skelton and Ray their arses in darts, Phyllis had left an hour earlier, and Sam was sitting beside him pretending to watch the game as well but really just staying pressed close to Gene while no one was watching.
"Guv," Sam mumbled and pushed himself slightly closer to Gene. His DI reeked like a distillery from the triples he’d been drinking like singles and with the way he was pressing close Gene realized that Tyler was very, very drunk.
"Hmm?" Gene murmured as Skelton completely missed the board with his throw.
"Gene," the words were slurred.
Sam pressed his lips almost against Gene’s ear. "I want you to take me home and fuck me into the mattress. Right now."
"Really?" Gene raised an eyebrow and surveyed the rest of his team. The girls were winning by a solid margin and everyone seemed to be having a good time. Perhaps it would be best if they left on a high note.
"I’m really horny," Sam persisted in a whisper. "Please, please take me home and fuck me till I can’t see straight."
"Right," Gene nodded. He’d known from the beginning that Sam was not a heavy drinker. Later he’d found that it was because alcohol made Sam horny and the more he drank the hornier he got. Apparently in Hyde that had been considered a bad thing. Gene smiled. Luckily for him they were not in Hyde and Gene was much more tolerant about letting his DI drunk fuck the boss. "Act drunk," he whispered.
"Not acting," Sam giggled as Gene stood and reached out to wrap an arm around his waist. Sam lolled his head slightly so that it rested in the hollow of Gene’s throat.
"Taking Tyler home," Gene announced abruptly. "Ray, Chris make sure the birds get home safe and sound."
"Yes Guv," the two men nodded.
"Night Guv," Cartwright followed. When he looked over Baxter simply gave him and Sam a look before smiling and raising a brow. Gene stared as she quietly reached over to take the darts from Chris and began her throws. Baxter knew exactly where Sam was going, Gene thought. She seemed like the sort to keep her mouth shut so he thought for tonight he might let it pass. If need be he could send Sam down tomorrow to smooth things out with her.
He pushed Sam through the door of the pub and out to where the Cortina was parked on the street. "How drunk are you really luv?" He muttered to Sam’s upturned face as he half walked, half dragged Sam to the passenger side.
"Really drunk," Sam answered. "Very, very drunk."
"All of that then?" Gene countered.
"Mmm," Sam agreed as he slumped into the seat and began to slowly squirm.
Gene shook his head and walked around to his side of the car trying to block out the soft moans coming from the passenger seat. Slumping into his seat he looked over at a blissfully wiggling Sam. "Don’t you dare go getting off on my interior Sammy."
The other man just opened his eyes and grinned wickedly. "Give me something else to get off on then," he smirked.
Five minutes later found them parked in front of Gene’s (well now Gene and Sam’s he amended to himself) house. 30 seconds after they’d turned the corner from the Railway Arms Sam had been across the seat sucking on Gene’s neck and rubbing his hand against Gene’s cock. Gene had slammed the car to a halt in front of the door and was trying desperately to find his voice so he could explain to Sam all the reasons they should not be making out in the Cortina in front of his house for God and all the neighbors to see. All he could manage was a groan.
"In," he grunted. "Now."
"Right," Sam agreed breathlessly. "Me in you right now." With that he began tugging at Gene’s zip urgently.
"No," Gene tossed his head as his hips thrust up so his cock was in Sam’s hand. "Get in the house. Not shagging in the Cortina so my neighbors can see my pasty arse through their front windows."
"Point taken," Sam slurred. "More room inside." With that Sam pulled back away from him and Gene tried not to groan at the loss. He climbed hurriedly from the car and reached for Sam who was still swaying dangerously against the bonnet. Dragging his giggling, drunk partner up the front stairs Gene pushed open the door and swung Sam inside. Kicking it closed he felt Sam pulling at the lapels of his coat, dragging him further into the room. He felt his legs press up against something and he landed on the sofa with a plop, his thankfully skinny DI landing on top of him.
Gene leaned up and planted his mouth onto Sam’s, shoving his tongue inside Sam’s mouth and inhaling the scent of whiskey. He reached down and grabbed Sam on the arse, pressing him down tighter. A sharp shift and they were tumbling off the sofa and onto the floor, Gene pinning a squirming Sam down beneath him.
"No fair," Sam slurred.
"No fair?" Gene leaned down to kiss him again.
"Did a good job today," Sam pouted. "I deserve a reward."
"What do you call this then?" Gene nipped along Sam’s collarbone and began unbuttoning his shirt. "I’m getting ready to shag you into the carpet. What’s that? Punishment?"
"Want to shag you," Sam announced as he tried to focus on undoing Gene’s shirt buttons. His eyes were crossing with the effort and the tip of his tongue poking out the right side of his mouth. "Right here on the floor."
"You want to shag the Gene Genie?" He laughed then. "Wasn’t what you were saying earlier."
"Is not?" Sam slurred.
"Nope, earlier it was take me home and fuck me through the mattress Gene."
"Changed my mind," Sam announced as he pushed Gene off of him and began to jerk more insistently at his clothes. "My prerogative. Take your clothes off. They keep moving."
"You going to be able to stay conscious for this?" Gene asked speculatively as he watched Sam swaying on his knees, trying to pull free of his own shirt and trousers but missing the buttons on both by a mile. Sam made an unsuccessful grab for him and ended up face first on the carpet, thrusting his hips against it.
"Not down there Sammy," Gene rolled his eyes. "Try again."
"Ungh," Sam replied as Gene shook his head and began to undo Sam’s trousers, working them down slowly and letting his fingers roam across the delicate skin. Reaching over for his coat he dug into the inside pocket. Lube was not in the pocket, Gene scowled. He always kept a small bottle there because Sam was a kinky bastard who liked it wherever he could get it. Where had he put the damn lube?
Accepting that the lube was gone, Gene leaned down to run his tongue along Sam’s spine and was just about to tell Sam not to fall asleep because he would be right back when something under the sofa caught his eye. Right, lube found. Never mind the interruption. Back to the regularly scheduled program of shagging Sammy senseless.
Gene reached for the bottle under the sofa and then he heard it. No, that wasn’t it. It was just a deep breathe he told himself and leaned in to nuzzle Sam’s neck. A deep breathe against the carpet but when he kissed Sam behind the ear his lover didn’t pant, he squirmed slightly, smiled and repeated what he’d done just a second before. He snored. Passed out drunk and dead to the damn world.
"Should have stayed at the pub," Gene grumbled as he redid his own trousers and adjusted himself before leaning down to cradle Sam’s naked, snoring, carcass in his arms and carrying him to bed. Sam was so fast asleep he didn’t even flinch when Gene dropped him roughly onto the bed.
"From now on your drinking water Mister," Gene huffed as he stormed into the bathroom to deal with pressing matters that Sam had neglected to handle before his little nap.